Dear New Momma,

You did it! You have grown a tiny human, and that human is now here. Here to cuddle and smell (oh that smell is so amazing!), and all you want to do is sleep, or shower. The birth was exhausting to say the least, and you are hungry, tired, and definitely due for a nice long relaxing cleansing shower or bath. The thing is, every time you go to take a bite of that delicious food, the new human cries, or when you finally have a moment to shut your eyes, that moment seems to be gone in a second and you are needed again. When you are about to step into that glorious warm water, the adorable baby is calling for you yet again. There is help, and you feel a little guilty that you are jealous of all the attention the baby is getting, but up until that moment, everyone was focused on you, and now that the baby is here, you feel neglected.

When the novelty of the new baby has worn off, there are suddenly not so many open arms for the baby or willing helpers to do dishes. If it was hard to get a hot meal, warm shower, or a couple minutes of sleep before, it seems impossible now. Maybe your partner is back to work, and its scary, being alone with this tiny human that you have to keep alive. That’s a huge responsibility and now you are second guessing yourself and your ability to do this.

Well Momma, you are not alone. Though it feels oh so lonely, know that you are not alone. Motherhood is just about one of the most amazing, lonely, isolating job out there, even though there is someone attached to you almost 24/7. You long for a long quiet shower, not a quick one that you take, not rinsing soap properly out of your hair, and then realizing that later, as you stand holding your screaming baby, comforting them and telling them you didn’t leave them, and never will. You feel guilty about complaining to people who work outside the home, and worry that they won’t understand how hard it is to be at home alone with a baby all day. “What did you do all day today,” your partner says casually while glancing at the dishes in the sink, that pile of laundry still on the couch and the attempt you made at making a meal. It’s hard to not read into the negative of that comment, and you want to snap back about how you and the baby are still alive and healthy…ish.

You are not alone, though it may feel like you are.

Motherhood is not for the weak of heart. Even as that tiny human grows, the challenges change, and the days stay just as hard. Some days are so fun, and amazing while others are full of tears and screaming (not always just from the toddler). These are the days you have to remind yourself of the time you sat, hand on belly, feeling those kicks and dreaming about the fun you would have with this child. Keep your head up momma, these days seem to last forever, but are gone in the blink of an eye. You’ve got this.

That sentence has been uttered before. Near your baby’s birth date, the phrase “you’ve got this” should echo throughout your life now. Through that hard pregnancy, through the birth, through feeding your baby and sleepless nights. Through teething, potty training, and even, perhaps, when they are school age and you send them to school the first time. When you have to take that scary trip to the emergency room with them, when you hold them again through the night due to heartbreak, or when they are out late and you worry about where they are. You’ve got this momma, and all those emotions, worries, and long days are totally worth it, and don’t seem so bad when you look into that tiny person’s sleeping face.

So, to you New Momma, I want to say, though everyone says that phrase about how short the years are, and how you should enjoy the moments with the baby while you can, remember that you are important too. In fact, you are the most important person in that baby’s life right now, and if you are not taking care of yourself, or being taken care of, how can you take care of that baby.

You are the most important person in that baby’s life right now.

Love yourself, momma. Ask for help so you can shower, and eat. You are amazing, but you are not super mom. She does not exist. One day, you may sleep and have all the time in the world to read that book, shower or eat that delicious meal hot, but you also need to do that now. Housework can wait, especially if you are burning out.

All moms where once new mommas, and each new baby brings a whole new world of joy, new struggles and a new momma (even if it’s not your first child). Love yourself, let yourself cry if you need to, and take that shower!

You’ve got this Momma!